Monday, October 25, 2010

Mom guilt - message under pictures

If you are a mom you have "mom guilt"! We try to do so much and the more we try to more we forget or miss or just don't get done.

Right now I'm trying to calm Caroline down and get her to stop crying because she can't find and orange strip of paper that was supposed to be in her backpack. This is not the 1st thing she has cried about today or even this afternoon. So the guilt kicks in as I get ready to hurry out the door for school and leave my kids and house in the hands of my husband. Yes he is capable, but he just doesn't do things the way I do!!!! My thoughts do I think about school when I know my daughter needs to get to bed early and my husband is not very successful at getting her to bed. My brain is full of school, Nick, caroline, and the rest of life. Like the fact that I'm the room mom for caroline's classroom (WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!)

So I spent Sunday making the below picture along with a painted candy corn on a tri-fold board for a toss game. Yes I will get it all done and it will come off without a hitch (if people still say that), but the stress up too it is sometimes unbearable.

I finally received an email from Nick's dr and the diet idea is not a good one in her opinion. Because he doesn't have severe food allergies that we know of. That is what she said. I'm torn because at least it is something to try, but Nick eats all of 5 things and it would have been extremely difficult to do with him. I'm grasping at straws here and from now until december 10 is a long time. Again this fills my brain and makes me feel so guilty when I walk out that door 3 nights a week. I do know it will be worth it in the end, but right now I feel like I'm slighting my kids.

We did have a wonderful moment over the weekend with an impromptu photo shoot in the leaves. I love taking pictures and especially of my kids. They turned out great and enjoyed it. When I was finished Caroline proceeded to take her own pictures and she is so cute. she loves to take pictures as much as I do.

Ok I guess that is enough rambling for today. I have started blogging again to try and get my thoughts out so they don't consume me! Hopefully it will help. If you don't want to read what I have to say at least enjoy the pictures!

Saturday, October 23, 2010


Look at that face! Red hair, green eyes and that look! You would never know just by looking at this picture that he is a child with special needs. This post has been on my heart for a long time. We knew something wasn't right the 2nd week of 1st grade (which has been 2years ago). After a lot of testing, doctor visits, and meetings at school Nick was diagnosed with Central Auditory Processing disorder, anxiety disorder, dyslexia, and ADHD. We started a roller coaster of medicines, interventions at school, speech therapy, occupational therapy, and psychology apts.

This year we moved Nick to Friends School and he is repeating the 2nd grade. He loves his new school and is doing well academically. He has made friends very easily in his new class and enjoys going to school everyday. That was not the case last year. Friends school is a fully inclusive school and most of the 8 boys 1 girl in Nick's class have some of the same diagnosis' as Nick.

After many meetings and much talking the team of doctors that work with us have decided Nick may have a metabolic disorder and his original diagnosis of ADHD may not be right. We will be seeing a Psychiatrist that specializes in these medications in December. Most likely Nick will have genetic testing at that time. They tell me this is the only way to tell if there is a metabolic disorder. The reason they think Nick might have a metabolic disorder is because he doesn't metabolize ADHD medicines the way other kids do. We have been through all the medicines and the only one he gets benefit from is a patch that goes on his hip and is absorbed through the skin therefore not metabolized first.

As a mom this is very difficult for me. I want so bad to be able to "fix" my son. Yes I know he is not dying as I am constantly reminded and it could be much worse. But to look at the issues Nick has and not be able to "fix" them is so frustrating. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to get us through until we see this new doctor. I have decided to keep his medicines the same until then because we see crazy side effects if we change them. So I started doing research to see if there are any alternative things we can do to help him. Like diet.

I love this little boy so very much and I know God gave him to me for a reason. I also know this will make all of us stronger and wiser one day....